Well, I’m a little late (like, 4 years late) but this last weekend I got braces. I’ve known for a while and had been going through the pre-brace stuff (mouthpiece, etc.) but now I’ve got them on the top for real, and next month on the bottom. So for the next year and a half to 2 years my mouth is going to be full of metal. I’ll spare you the picture.
To tell you the truth, I really don’t mind that too much. Okay, yeah, it’s annoying and makes me look 10% more ugly but whatever. And you know what? I can live without gum. I don’t mind that. The absence of gummy candy is where I start to get a little worried. I mean, that means no gummy bears, no sour patch, no gummy candy whatsoever. But… *deep breath*… I can handle that. Yeah, it sucks but whatever. What really gets me is the other foods I’m not allowed to have. NO POPCORN. NO SODA. NO CRUNCHY FOODS.
WHAATTT???? No POPCORN???? POPCORN IS THE BEST!!!! How can they do this??? This is the stupidest thing ever. But no, it gets even worse… I can’t have SODA?? What!? Since when? I’ve never heard of this! No gum, no gummy candy, no popcorn, no soda???!!!!! How am I supposed to live? Like, if I go to see a movie, what do I buy? All they have at movie theaters is popcorn, soda, and gummy candy! On top of that, bagels are really hard to eat and for the past week I could barely even eat anything because my teeth had to move and chewing with them hurt a lot.
So yeah, I need to find a new favorite food, quick. One that isn’t gummy or crunchy, and that doesn’t get stuck in braces, and tastes good, too.
Oh, and one other thing. When they asked me what color I wanted for the braces, one of the choices was glow in the dark. And I chose it. But guess what… they don’t even glow in the dark! Trust me, I held a flashlight to my mouth for like 10 minutes and then went into the closet. Nope. Not a speck of light. Can I sue them for that?
